War and Peace, and Other Jail-Like Things

I decided to read War and Peace** over the Christmas holidays because it's one of my bucket list items, and these days I'm in to just doing things. Not like, hm, let's think about this, let's minutely dissect it, let's tell 100 people, let's draw a Venn diagram about it, let's break up with it, cry about it in the shower, and then humour it with flattering insinuations...

No! Do all the things!

Also, ha ha, read War and Peace over Christmas? War and Peace laughs at your pompous pet idea that you can read all 1350+ pages of its glorious wealth in two weeks!! It spits in your pretty little moonbeam face! Idiot!

The impetus to read said wrist-breaking tome is about more than my to-do list, though. I recently came to the conclusion, while plotting out my race training schedule, and sweating over how I was going to fit in Spanish lessons, and also that fun thing called my full-time job, and other lesser things like my social life, and eating, and breathing in oxygen, and exhaling carbon dioxide, when I realized that, once again, I have put myself in jail. And that I like it.

Self-imposed jail is so nice. You lock yourself into this little tight space, and you rail your little fists at its punishingly close walls for a few weeks, and you're so busy railing, and swearing, and toiling, that you don't realize that filling 24 hours of a day is sometimes very boring. You're in jail and it's all jail, all the time, and soon you're singing a merry tune "Jail! Jail!" and nothing else matters.

Anyway, I didn't really think about how much war would be in War and Peace. The battlefield scenes are a bit annoying, but also, so many duels! And balls! And courting of underage virgins! I really like this book, and I'll write a real post about it when I'm done. It really doesn't deserve this sort of treatment.

** That fat hardcover edition you see above? I do not own it. It's on my bucket list for you to buy it for me. You know what to do. My birthday is in about eleven months.

1 comment:

Steph said...

I love this post. It's hilarious. Also, while I have War and Peace, a very cheesy two-volume Penguin edition with what I think are old movie covers, I will likely never read it. I just can't do tomes anymore.

That hardcover that someone has to buy for you, though, is lovely.

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